Spiritual Ministries Mind Spirit Body Vibrational Medicine Research, Healing and Education Center.
Rev. Tonie C. Wallace Dream-Founder and Director
Putting Oneself Out There...
Rev. Tonie C. Wallace Dream-Founder and Director
Dear All One Family:
Again I am glad that you have chosen to follow this true as it is a happening; book written by Jada Stone.
I personally feel that it could perhaps open the path that many could chose were they a looking for the Divine answers as to why, what and who they think and know that they are.
Jada in my estimation is a putting her stuff out there; the best way that she is Divinely lead to believe she should. Her true life story pitch is: "one can't ever believe it, until it is shown to you in a clear, non-clouded version of how life appears to her in being real."
Jada told me that to date, she has many a believing like her and because those that do are reaping the results in ways highly blessedly unimagined before it is enough to keep her hope ship a floating and the keeping silent days are now over for her because all she has felt that she reaped from a holding her silence, was continued; "Forest Gump and Forest Gumpette types," on occasion.
Many in the resist parental authority generations, would disagree with what Jada is doing, for the parents that grew up out of that period are now a realizing that by allowing their children to do their own thing like they had done is resulting in grand children with the same views.
Jada contends like I do, that if we don't at least take our place as parental role models exercising proper action, versus numerous words given repeatably; than we are somehow an impacting the resultant action of them learning through their own hard headed choices.
Some parents used to be quite financially set and could bail out their children when their hard headed choices lead them into some pretty sticky and financially costly avenues.
Those days of always a jumping in to save ones drowning child unfortunately, or if you are a half glass full thinker like Jada and myself, believe; fortunately are over.
Times are hard and finances low. Plus weigh in the cost of all of the drama and lost sleep on ones health and now I ask you:
To those parents a practicing only their child's wishes for silence and non opinions given them in return for any and all decisions made by ones child/children; I ask you, has it worked well for you? And if not, would you please submit a comment in the comment box to the bottom of this newsletter.
For those parents that it did work for you, please by all means do the same; for I want to take a vote and see which parental role modeling worked or not.
So without another delay, I want to turn to Jada's continuing story. This one is addressed to her daughter in law who has written a couple of emails that have opened Jada's eyes up about how she is being viewed by not only the daughter in law, yet as well her sons and being we become the energy that surrounds one, perhaps even the grand children.
I believe it will open some eyes at least, for those a wanting to see a better and clear way.
Enjoy the read.
Be Blessed Always
Love, Light and Peace
Tonie
DIFFERENT LEVELJada Stone
Dearest Daughter in Law:
In order to not be found responsible for your current dramatic moment you are a having with me.
I have decided to include in its entirety, the two emails that you sent me, two days after your husband, my oldest son arrived in Iraq.
Of course, I have changed the names that you wrote on your emails, to hide your identity and those of which you spoke of in it. I ask that you look outside of the box when you threatened a law suit if I did as such, telling you in my correspondences that I am a minister of God and it is my job as such to be the teacher/mother.
Being the teacher as well to my grown sons, will always be my divine mission job, and thus, I can't be seen as the one a doing all that you state that I am a doing and thus I am stating to you now, whenever anyone tries to misrepresent me, I am thrown into the mix to not only defend, yet also explain who the heck I think I am and what the heck I think I am a doing.
I do have to admit as well, I wasn't surprised by your response, for I saw it another time when you and my son were separated. That time when you had decided that a life without him was just perfectly fine and this time, when distance is separating you both for financial reasons.
A close doctor friend of mine gave me this quote last night. "One time it is called an event, two times it is a pattern, three times it is a trend."
The first event that you and I shared went rather nasty. In spite of the fact that you knew that I could see what it was that you were experiencing with the hard headedness of my son in the role of being a husband.
You at that time got angry at me when I told you what I saw ahead of you, feeling the way that you did and how it could impact your children and the way that they looked at you and their father.
I was told to stay the hell out of your business, mind my own and the next time you and I actually corresponded was 6 months later when you and he reconciled your differences, in order to save a now ten year long marriage.
That little separation of yours cost me plenty, for it was my place that your husband lived and tried to find work he told you wasn't here.
Yet I never presented you with a bill for I knew that I was a needed to help save a very angry man that was given all of the blame for the bankruptcy that you both walked through together, and in spite of all of his efforts; you called him a loser.
So as for it being a very happy time for he and I, let me tell you this; it wasn't. Yet it was worth it, for my son got back that which made him happy, you and his two kids.
That to me was worth all of the gold in the world...debt paid back even if a thank you from you never came to me.
So if like my doctor friend stated, two events makes it a pattern...will you and I resolve this issue two years from now, being you feel that it will take two years to get your new car and the new mustang for my grand daughter when she turns 16 years of age and the 4 wheeler for my grandson and all of your bills and essentials and credit cards paid up?
Can I wait that long to see my grandchildren and know that they love, honor and respect me still?
Can I live with the end results that they don't, being you will have programmed them for two years to think of me as you had written me presently? Do you have the right to silence me at this auspicious times of their lives?
I also can't risk my youngest son a buying into your one sided conversation with him a telling him how rude, crude and insane I am. I would think that he wouldn't buy into your drama, yet he has in the past with others such as his brother and other family members...
I also don't want my oldest son, your husband to believe for one instant that I was a trying to make trouble for his family. Keeping things from him is not my way, and I believe this more than I believe anything else..."that which goes around, comes around."
You had your 15 minutes with your responses and now comes mine. I do hope that you will allow my words to float in your mind's eye and understand how grateful I am for you having expressed to me your opinions. They are obviously not my own, or why else would I want to play them out to my reading/educating audiences?
Remember as well dear daughter in law: We all have opinions, and when we take our opinions and discuss them and the differences we all hold, sometimes, we can take both sides and somehow find the truth located in the middle.
It isn't only necessary that we disagree in our differences, it is most important that we learn to agree to disagree. Take what you need and please by all means, do leave the rest.
The Phone Call That Got Me Into Daughter in Law Trouble
I am sorry if I don't have all of the things that I told you over the phone when you called to tell me that your husband, my oldest son had arrived in Iraq.
If I had known that it was going to be yours and mine final stand, again...I would have ran to the computer and typed it all down for posterity.
To my mind's eye recollection, I stated this: "Wow, both sons were so stressed and angry about so many things as they got ready to depart, that neither one of them found my opinions and thoughts to be very valid and truth filled and thus decided that I would be the last person they needed to communicate with.
They did keep contact, yet the words they allowed me to speak, were strictly that...just light words, perhaps like a text message...brief and to the point.
Other than "my sensing they were calmer and lessened in stress, and that they would be alright as long as they kept prayer-faith filled and in the light of God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and Archangel Michael, I had the sense that all would be alright no matter where they traveled on the planet."
Nothing else was allowed to be spoken for I had already been warned by both my sons, "that nothing else would be permitted," unless of course they brought it up and I was basically to only address that question and nothing else.
Anything other than that, was not permitted, for they both had; "too much stress and all I was a doing was a giving them additional stress, and they both were facing dangerous territory in order to secure a better life for those that they loved and why didn't I love them enough to stop talking?"
My response was like always in the past, "it is because I love you that I am taking the time to at least give you my insights and if that isn't alright with you, I believe it is alright with God, being especially one of His Ten Commandments was to, "honor thy father and they mother and thy days would be many on earth."
And I Told Them Both
That it is because I love them that much that I would risk them speaking less often to me while they prepared to go overseas to the Middle East to take contracting jobs to help secure a better future for their families and self.
I didn't feel that speaking to them about forgiveness and asking forgiveness for their past ill mistaken choices in life and how to obtain "the peace, that surpasses all understanding;" to have warranted the need for me to keep my big mouth shut,
Especially from two men of my body to handle my good news in this manner, yet it is what it is, now isn't it.
When you called me that last time that we spoke, I guess I was a looking for some sympathy because I felt that they hadn't gotten it yet, and I was concerned that if only my prayers were being given, that perhaps the protective shield that I personally asked God to place around them, wouldn't be all that strong.
So please daughter in law, excuse me all to hell; I did what I thought any mom that loved her kids truly would have done. Now I could have been wrong, I don't believe so, yet if God tells me that I am, I will stop the behavior that is a giving my sons so much grief.
I am not quite sure what really caused you to vent so much of your anger onto me...my lack of stress and confidence that God was a protecting our loved ones, or my telling your husband that this extended distant job choice, would help grow you up.
I guess that type of perception coming from a single parent herself was taken wrongly. I tried to explain that I am always in a period of growth and I call that common sense and when that type of growth stopped within me, I knew that it was time to go Home and continue my work of helping others there.
Before I paste the emails that you sent me; with the purpose of showing my sons that I wasn't a trying to create a problem with you here and that the real culprit was that you had broken down and I was the easiest person to slap for you knew that I loved you unconditionally and that I would forgive you....
I want to state that once you became aware that I had been a writing down all that I couldn't because they wouldn't allow me to say them; things that shot out of my mind's eye imaginings and rapidly flew to the newsletter that I was a writing down my moment to moment accounts of my last physical/communicative moments with my sons, your two emails were sent me when you had only read my first account: "Ticket To Hell."
So it doesn't count in the whole of things, simply because you didn't read the journey of my mind after I got through the denial and fear filled state of my new acceptance of my sons being placed in harms way.
Every parent that has or will in the future have to accept this premise will have to agree that this kind of news isn't all that easy to accept.
For you; being your kids, my grand-kids are still in the early stages of teenager; you haven't crossed into that journey yet, so for you to tell me how to deal properly with this or that area of life when you haven't gotten there yourself, is rather nonfactual...can you agree to that?
When one has children still not able to have a driver's license and still very much under the control of the parents and what the rules of the house is...is kind of like a putting the horse before the cart.
I pray that your form of parenting skills will turn your children out better than my own two attempts. For I hear it in your own mother's voice and words; what kind of man she thinks my youngest son has turned out to be...and it isn't all that good, in spite of my youngest son thinking that you think he is the funniest man on the planet your own mother doesn't and that means to me that either you or your children have told your mother how silly acting he is...make sense to you? It does to me.
So please daughter in law; "judge not, least thee be judged." And let's hope that you don't have to walk a mile in my moccasins in order to discover why I made the choices in life that you don't agree that I should have.
Can we at least agree to not agree, dear one?
I am a calling you to the table now, even though I stated that I would wait till later...because you have a trend in treating me with disrespect and I fear that your own children will one day copy your pattern of behavior.
The last time that you threw "mom in law off of the train," was when you told me that because I voted for Barack Obama, when the terrorists came to my door, I didn't need to ask you for help, for you wouldn't give it."
I want you lastly to know: That the behavior that you have exhibited in your emails, a throwing momma off of the train kind of thing, isn't all that uncommon it seems, for lots of daughter in laws and girlfriends are a doing it...all that I have talked to about this common ground behavior, stated, was simply do to the daughter in laws and girlfriends a not wanting the mother in law, or perhaps future mother in laws, a knowing what they were a doing while their sons were away...so what you are doing a few days after my son departed, is really quite normal.
What do I want when all of the ashes burns down? My sons to be happy, no matter what makes them happy...I believe all mothers that know what I am a saying, will say Amen, sister.
First Email After Last Call
Date: Monday, February 9, 2009, 7:29 PM
Jada:
"I ,Think why (name change-CH1) gets so mad at you because when he tries to tell you his view on things you discredit him of not knowing nothing and that's why he gets mad.He told me before he remembers when he used can tell you anything without you blowing up at him .You may have schooling and learning lessons of your life but we have to live our own lives without judgement and that's how i have been seeing you take this misson as you state for both of your sons. Yes, they are trying to help thier families like any man would in hard times or woman.You say that we are fearful and not to tell anyone our business we aren't announcing to the whole world our family business.Also, To me I have seen you be the most fearful of all at certain things.You are (name change*-CH!, CH2) mother yes but there's a time to let go they are both grown men and can take of themselves.You ,said god is going to help you, well god sometimes helps those that help themselves in which i think (name change-CH1, Ch2) did by finding a better job yes it might be dangerous but we all take risk everyday. I know one thing (name change C1) has been wanting this along time and you past judgement that he was ungrateful well i'll tell you what i don't see him break down and cry much but he did the one morning (name change CH2) was here and they were filling out paper work and talking he broke down and cried and said maybe i can get mom out of the piece of shit she lives in so maybe you need to stop asking or having worries of why, you need to thank god, because this don't happen just to anybody its like the lottery 1 out of a million. You have taught your sons to stand up what they believe in and all i seen you were the biggest drama queen of all in all of this.And the discussion today made me feel that you wanted me to feel sorry for you which i don't because one of your sons supposedly wronged you again its not all about you .you made me feel like no one can say a word to you because your right and everyone else is wrong if someone says no (name change, Jada) thats not right you get angry and then drama starts from you.You say that having this house put us where we are well we have the lowest mortgage than most and its not like (name change-C1) and I haven't worked hard for what we have it took us 15 damn years to have this house its not like we got married and there was a house you were judging him for having something that it took us along time to get.By the way maybe time away from your sons will help you grow up a little bit .
Love ,(name change CH3)
Second and Last email of yours
Name change code
CH1-oldest son
CH2-youngest son
CH3-daughter in law
"(name change, CH1) knows my feelings about this and he had no stress about going over there he was happy and excited his doing what he has been wanting to do.Yes I can tell that than again I am wrong and you are right in your mind . you write about me or my family than you better watch yourself because there are laws even though you change the names.I already read your letter's ticket to hell and the rest wow how smart of you really didn't cover your identity you don't know what a ticket to hell really is maybe you need to read your bible alittle better.An ordained minister you can get that off the internet try going to school for 7 years or more like i know someone is doing to be a real ordained plus clergy and minister.We were paying our bills like the rest but when hard times hit well there goes your bills so you want to talk to me about spending (name change, CH1) and I don't bounce our checks every time we turn around .My kids well guess what I am not treating them like crap for thier opinions and I am honest with them and if what ever they do with there lives it is theres not mine and I wouldn't be jumping on thier backs for every word coming out of thier mouth like you have done you may not realize it When you speak on the phone with (name change-CH1) he didnt have to tell me any thing because i could hear your loud mouth and what you said everytime.If you want to close the door on our relationship I think you did that a long time ago for standing up to you so i am not going to be writing you back cause all you need is temptation to open your mouth for your opinions that is sin by the way temptation so good luck with your self .You threw the stress on yourself because you are fearful of outcomes of a newday.Maybe you need to look in the mirror of tommorow and find a better day.I blame you only for taking your opinions and only see what you see you don't realize but what you see might sometimes be the wrong opinion or way and no I am not talking about God.Also you have to have permission from me of what you put on the internet especially what I write.Have a good day because I am done writing to an empty outlook.
Response to Daughter in Law
Thank you for this last response for I see clearly what it is that I mean to you and later I will be back to respond to all that you write. Do I feel stripped and devalued, most definitely, only understand dear daughter in law, that what you take down in another, you take down upon yourself.
I love you and do hope that you will forgive me for being a mom. I will be back to defend that which I believe that I am...I hope that you will bother with trying to understand me more fully and if you don't...well I can't help it for I am only a doing the best job that I can.
Prayer For Forgiveness
Dear Heavenly Father, In The Name of Jesus Christ, Our brother and your Son, and Precious Holy Spirit, I pray that you forgive my daughter in law, and all others that don't understand my mission, I also ask that you forgive me all my transgressions that I have knowingly and unknowingly created in others. I ask this again in Jesus Christ's name, Amen.
Love, Light and Peace
Mom-Jada Stone
Be Blessed always
Jada
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