I Heard Myself Cry In My Former Daughter In Law's Words

Spiritual Ministries Mind Spirit Body Vibrational Medicine Research, Healing and Education Center.
Letter To Brad And Angeline
Jada Stone, Research Center Contributing Associate Editor

Dear All One Family:
I have decided that it is time to take the bull puckie by the horns...instead of the tail...hahahehehe...I hope that what you find contained within the contents of this posting will bring you clarity in your own interactions with others in the world...

This is a true account and is a happening as I write...so please be patient with me for not only am I a trying to awaken that which already be awaken...I am hope filled that I will rekindle a spark that shouldn't be allowed to go dim for even a second, for it is that special of a relationship that I see between my son and his former wife and mother of his daughter...

My former daughter in law is on one hand a trying to stay afloat in unconditional love held out towards my son, while she feels that my son is a trying to hold her under...and get her to admit that it is her fault that he can't see her so clearly...

My my my; victims comes in all colors,ranges, levels and not the same page dwellers you know?

The reason I named this posting such as I did, is because all that my former daughter in law told me as to the reasons why she doesn't want to continue hanging on...to a sinking ship...of love going absolutely no where...are the same as my own...

Simply because unconditional love shared by only one is not a pretty picture...as I listened to her sobs, wishes, regrets and lost time and moments...I revisited all of my own...that I too experienced once I realized that I wasn't "spiritually yoked with my equal," and thus didn't have a chance in hell of going the long way together...

Sort of a kind of, been there and choose the suffering no more kind of thing.

I guess that I was able to give her all the insights that I had to hold onto when I had to cross over the lost and move into the self discovered ones...of God/Jesus and Holy Spirit...

I held this special former daughter in law...in the achy breakey visions that I once called yesterday and wondered...what part I could have played in her a repeating my same action...and as well, wondering if how if at all, I could have changed the direction of how this flame retardant relationship could have lost its flammable status.

You know mothers have this problem of always a trying to figure things out...and in the after math blame themselves for not saying enough or too much...it is just how the world is a turning...at this time.

The Children a always, almost a blaming the generation before them...

The only defense that I feel right now is the defense that generally sons take after most, their fathers or step fathers...and being both my sons love both husband, step father and former boyfriends that I allowed them to get close to...I would have to say that perhaps...the males that I chose plus my father and brothers...played a larger role than the female parental figures that my world and theirs held...

So I feel better just by having said that...

What made my heart skip a beat, was the deep seated hurt that my brave former daughter in law was a carrying for she told me that just recently that she had petitioned God/Jesus and Holy Spirit to change the heart of my son so that he could see her once again as he did the day that they married and he had asked God/Jesus and Holy Spirit for her hand in marriage...

God/Jesus and Holy Spirit with the assistance of Job as well, were a telling her that her prized love was a hindrance to her path, for he just couldn't quite get the same page that she was on...and thus she was battling the karma of a relationship that was only at 1/2 steam forward potential...and sometimes when this relationship was a falling further than 1/2 potential when she allowed him to push her buttons within her...and sometimes in the moment, lost true direction and divine intercession...in what she called her mission/purpose and plan...

For all Angeline wanted, was what she saw was possible if only she could get my son to see what it was that she and myself as well saw...the love rekindled in God/Jesus and Holy Spirit which would radiate down to her and her children and his...if only they could become a family that "prays together, a staying together."

Thus she knew as I did...that the walks hand in hand a walking down the beach of life together...could become a possibility instead of a delusional dream manifested by one...herself.

The battle that I had at hand after she told me of all the things that he told her and accused her of...while stating how lonely he was and that perhaps he should give a call to his former fiance who he knew still cared about him, being she didn't and didn't come a running at his beckoned call...

The battle was that when Angeline prayed and asked God/Jesus and Holy Spirit for direction, Angeline received the message that her former husband would have one shot and one shot alone at trying to turn back the hands of time on their relationship...being this was the first indiscretion since his return from Iraq, my former daughter in law...took it that this was the stated moment in time...one shot and one shot out.

I told her that by no means did this moment count as that moment...for since his return...my son hadn't dated her as of old...and their talks together were still at a minimal...and he hadn't even chose to go to church with her...so he had no idea what a world with her would be like for Our God, doesn't give us glimpses of chances...before making His ruling that all are lost...for we all have until our last breath to make all things brand new...

I told her that when she told him that the back yard light would always stay on...and when ever his lighthouse started to dim, he could get strength and solidarity from his divine contact with her...

For she told me that she does love my son more than she did yesterday when they said their I Do's...yet, the whole while a wishing that he would surrender his life totally and truly to Our Father...and by so doing...demonstrate this action by moving into the peace, comfort and joy that should happen when one knows beyond any doubt...that all things are on purpose and then are able to put the victim part of themselves that feels separate from God/Jesus and Holy Spirit...away.

I also told her that the battle between my son and his best friend was also a silly thing on both of their parts...for they both are more like brothers than both my sons at times, appears...for both Brad and his best friend are jokesters and spend their time a trying to make others laugh...sometimes their humor is mistaken by either or both of them...for that is just the quality of Don Rickles joking brings all that participate in them off humor/slanted comments...

One doesn't know when the other is joking or a simply speaking their truths...thus with relationships that are compromised with heavy alcohol consumption...reality viewing becomes even more limited...a.k.a...physical confutation...sometimes.

When I heard that physical blows had followed...and Brad's best friend a no longer waiting be associated with my son...I told my former daughter in law this...tell him that I will be upset with him if he hurt my son...for him of all people know that my son thinks the world about him, for if he didn't, why would he hold hurt in believing that his best friend could be a sleeping with his former wife and one that he will love until the end of time?

Good friends don't take from others that others are in hopes of one day re securing?

Perhaps it was the off color jokes that my son spoke of his best friend's wife or girlfriend that first made Brad's best friend...throw out in the mix, that he too had tasted the sweets of his love interest former mate...Tit for tat...who knows how alcohol if allowed to be heavily consumed, play on the already Post traumatic Stress Disorder individual...

Whose at fault and who isn't...doesn't really matter...what matters is that alcohol causes one to become more depressed instead of enlightened...especially when consumed at over moderation level...

I also told her that being he continued to stay with the drift of thought provoking reflections that she had in reality did what Brad's best friend stated, that meant that he definitely didn't trust or have any faith in all that she was a telling him and I wondered if perhaps...again he had gotten that ill gotten virtue honestly from those male representatives that I had chosen to gift him with...

So even if my son Brad called me the teacher of jealousy and distrust...again, I want him to understand, were I the one to be jealous and distrusting in the relationships with those that I loved and cared enough to fill both him and his brother's world...would I not still be in those broken relationships for fear of letting them go, to find another more compatible mate?

Plus being sons copy more the behavior of the dads and step dads, instead of the mother...anyways that is my story and again, I am a sticking to it...

I also remember a telling both my sons that when I found myself only loving their father and step father and no longer in love with them...I took my leave...so that they could find the one that would make their world a lot brighter than I was able to...

I loved my ex's that much!

Like a butterfly, I set them free, "knowing if they were allowed to return, it was meant to be..."

I also told my former daughter in law...who chose to divorce my son and not the other way around...that divorce is nothing more than a firing...and that my son was fired due to things that he created that caused her to distrust and no longer have faith in him as being all that she knew he could be for himself and those that love and model after him...

When my former daughter in law, through a near death experience, revisited the love that still remained for her former husband...my son somehow adopted the attitude that all his former wife was a doing was a trying to get back at him because he had found a new life with someone else...

Never realizing that the new life with someone else...was only a mirage of what he had once had with his former wife...and when he discovered this...he took a job overseas so that he could clear his head, heart and body and be able to see what was real...

I believe my son hasn't arrived at the point he needs to be, to have and to hold this special relationship...I don't know how many more victims he will chose to catch and hold close to him...all I can do is pray always that he will awaken and not allow that time to be so far off in the distance...for I believe that this former daughter in law is a doing exactly what I am a doing...

A Waiting For God/Jesus and Holy Spirit
To put it on our hearts who it is that He wills our life to be shared with...and we both are content to just idle away the days, hours and minutes until that single man arrives...all others that once were in contention can only hope that we are still single and free when they finally wake up and smell the coffee...

Be Blessed Always
Love, Light and Peace
Jada